invited a few comics and friends to Badgemore Golf Club Henley
on Thames, in late 1977, a good time was had by all, in the
spring of 1978 Stan Taylor also invited a few more comics and
some of those that had attended the Badgmore Park gig numbering
19 in total to Crews Hill Golf Club. After the game and
during drinks & dinner the idea of a society was nurtured, Stan
Taylor was elected Life President, Ray Donn Secretary, Ronnie
Twist Treasurer, Johnnie Mans Public Relations and Gil Morris
elected the first captain....a name was discussed and
chosen......The Comedians Golfing Society was born.....Crews
Hill Golf Club......Spring 1978. We called
ourselves “Happy Ambassadors of Golf” We wanted to include this
motto on our badges etc.....in Latin...We had it translated at
Birmingham University to “Legati Ludorum Felices” which in fact
translates to “Ambassadors of games happy” so be it.
The first Annual Ball January 1979 was
arranged at the Hilton Hotel on Park Lane, it was a great
success and it made a profit of approx £400, we all thought that
was great, also on that night the 2nd
VGS captain was announced Terry Mardell, the first captain to be
made at the annual event.
Founder Members – 19
Taylor. Ray Donn. Terry Mardell. Wally Mardell. Gil Morris. Bob
Curtiss. Peter Trayling.
Alexander. Ron Twist. Keith O’Keith. Johnny
Mans. Steve Tracey. Rod Cliff. Tony Dukes.
Rae Halsey SM. Owen Wooldridge SM. Derek
Pearson SM. Pete Anson SM. Tony Dukes SM
THIS WEBSITE DEDICATED TO ALL DEAR DEPARTED CGS MEMBERS
Secretary CGS 1978
AN ODE TO A GOLFER
COMEDIANS GOLFING SOCIETY
A LONELY FIGURE STANDING THERE,
HE TAKES A MIGHTY SWING.
THE MOVEMENT OF HIS ACTION -
IS SUCH A WONDEROUS THING.
HE'S DRESSED IN BOLD CHECK TROUSERS
A SWEATER, AND A HAT.
HE'S ONE OF LONDON'S COMIC'S
...AND HE LOOKS A PROPER PRATT!!
AH YES.... YOU'VE GUESSED WHAT'S HAPPENING,
A COMEDIAN'S GOLFING MATCH.
HE'S TRYING TO WIN THE PRIZES.
HE SAYS HE PLAYS OFF SCRATCH.
HE SAYS HE IS A GOLFER.
...PRETENDS HE KNOWS THE LOT,
KEEP YOUR EYE OF THAT SLY BASTARD...
THAT'S HIS TWENTY-FOURTH AIR SHOT!
NOW LAST WEEK I WAS PLAYING,..
IN ONE OF OUR LAD'S GAMES.
SOME FUNNY THINGS WERE HAPPENING...
....WON'T MENTION ANY NAMES!
THERE'S TERRY AND THERE'S WALLY,
TWO BROTHERS CALLED MARDELL.
WERE THEY PLAYING FAIRLY...?
WERE THEY ? .... K'NELL.
TERRY WAS A FRIEND OF MINE
UNTIL A RECENT GAME
I'VE FOUND OUT HE'S A BLEEDING CHEAT
... AND WALLY IS THE SAME!
THEY'LL SHOUT OUT 'FORE', AND MAKE YOU HIDE
... AND SAY THEY'VE LOST THEIR BALL.
AND EVERYONE IS HUNTING IT.
... ALL COMICS ...ONE AND ALL.
THEN MIDST THE MAD CONFUSION;,
THEY'LL STOP AND LIGHT A FAG.
AND SHOUT "OK ....WE'VE FOUND IT LADS
....TWO INCHES FROM THE FLAG"
OLD J. J.KING'S ANOTHER ONE.
THEY'RE ALL THE BLEEDIN SAME.
THEY'LL STOOP TO ANY LOW DOWN TRICK
TO TRY AND SPOIL YOUR GAME.
IF YOU ARE THERE WITH J.J.
AND THE FAIRWAY IS ALL CLEAR.
HE'LL WAIT FOR YOU TO CONCENTRATE.
...THEN SING AVE MARIA!!
A SECRET DRINKER WE HAVE GOT.
HIS NAME IS RONNTE TWIST.
CAN WE TRUST HIM AS OUR TREASURER...
...WHEN HE'S ALWAYS GETTING PISSED?
WHEN I MET RON, MY HANDICAP...
...WAS EIGHT...OR MAYBE TEN,
AND NOW HE'S TAUGHT ME HOW TO PLAY
... IT'S TWENTY FOUR AGAIN.
BOB CURTISS IS ANOTHER ONE.
A FAIRLY DECENT BLOKE.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MARKING SCORES
... BOB CURTISS IS A JOKE.
HE'S GOT YOUR CARD WITHIN HIS GRASP
YOU TRUST HIM ...HE'S THE SCORER.
BUT WHEN YOU GO TO HAND IT IN
... HE'S COVERED IT IN … FLORA,
I GOT TOLD OFF, LAST GAME I PLAYED
... I'M GUILTY, THAT I PLEAD.
I PLAYED A SHOT, AND RIPPED THE GRASS
... GIL MORRIS SAW THE DEED.
I GOT THE TURF... REPLACED IT.
IT MADE ME FEEL QUITE BIG.
ALAS THE DIVOT I HAD USED...
TURNED OUT TO BE GIL'S WIG!!
MIKE ALEXANDER...WHAT A TURD.
OUR LOYAL HANDICAPPER.
GET IN A FOUR-BALL GAME WITH HIM
... HE'S JUST A FRANTIC 'CRAPPER'
HE'LL TAKE A SHOT...THEN TAKE A SHIT
...THEN TAKE: A SHOT AGAIN,
THEN SHIT AND SHOT...AN'D SHOT AND SHIT
...THE SCORE?...SHOTS EIGHT...SHITS TEN!!
THE TROUBLE WITH OUR OUTFIT IS
...THERE'S ALWAYS PEOPLE JOKING.
EXCEPTING KEITH O'KEEFE...THE PIG,
HE'S ALWAYS BLOODY SMOKING,
HE PUFFS...AND PUFFS.. ..AND PUFFS...AND PUFFS
...THE BIGGEST PUFF WE KNOW.
HE'S REALLY GETTING ON MY PIP
... I THINK HE'LL. HAVE TO GO.
IT'S NOT THAT HE CAN'T PLAY THE GAME.
THAT'S NOT THE REASON WHY.
IT'S THE CIGARETTES THAT 'KEEFY' SMOKES
...THEY'RE THE ONES THAT I SUPPLY!!
I CANNOT MENTION ALL THE NAMES
STAN TAYLOR … AND THE REST
THAT PLAY IN OUR SOCIETY...
AND TRY TO DO THEIR BEST.
THE CHARLIE LEA'S.,.. DEREK.PEARSON.
LEE TRACEY … AND THE OTHERS,
WE'RE REALLY ALL. THE BEST OF MATES
...WE’RE REALLY JUST LIKE BROTHERS.
THERE’S RAY DONN ...WHO'S A KNOCKOUT GUY
... HE'S GOT A LOT OF HEART,
HE'S THOUGHTFUL AND HE'S GREAT AT GOLF..
WE KNEW THIS FROM THE START.
HE'S BRAINY, AND HE'S CUNNING...
AND HE'S LIKEABLE ... AND WISE
... NOW THIS IS ALL A 'LOAD OF CRAP’
... BUT HE SUPPLIED THE TIES!
AN ODE TO A GOLFER
Copyright © Johnny Mans (CGS)
19TH MAY 1978
Respectful memories of dear and departed